Blue
by anyadoll
Summary: Post Toxic. Maybe he was fool, assuming she had a crush on him, but he had to know, and maybe she did too.


**A/N:** So I love Perception, and this is my little ditty to add to the fanfic world. It's also my first foray into the world of Perception, so let's hope all goes well. I kind of just felt like writing a little fluff peace, because Perception makes me feel fluffy. There's a line from Castle in here, so let's see who can spot it. Lyrics are "Wake Me Up," by Avicii.

**Blue**

_I tried carrying the weight of the world_

_But I only have two hands_

_I hope I get the chance to travel the world_

_But I don't have any plans_

_Wish that I could stay forever this young_

_Not afraid to close my eyes_

_Life's a game_ _made for everyone_

_And love is the prize_

XOX

Daniel massaged his temples; feeling like a heel for insinuating the only reason Kate wanted to work with him was because she had some underlying crush was giving him a headache of epic proportions. Of course he was wrong, of course he was a fool. And Donnie, he was the biggest fool of all. Jealous because his marriage had failed so beautifully, he'd had to pin the blame on someone, and that someone was Daniel.

By all rights, he certainly did not like the man one iota, but he did understand the harsh reality of having to let someone you cared about go. He thought he'd cared about Caroline, but what he cared about more was her physical resemblance to Natalie. His former girlfriend and his best friend were two entirely different…people? The one in his reality didn't match up to the glorified one in his head. One dismissed his ideas and his needs, and the other catered to them, listened to them. Of course he knew that Natalie was more than a hallucination; she was more of a projection of his subconscious that felt the need to manifest in times of need. He laughed aloud, realizing that she was Jiminy Cricket to his Pinocchio.

"What does that make Kate?" Natalie queried from her perch on the piano stool.

"Look who's butting in on my thoughts again," he murmured with a smile. She shrugged indifferently. "It's just an analogy, Natalie."

She grinned like a Cheshire cat, propping her chin on her fist. "Do tell. It's a rather good analogy Daniel. A puppet that wants to be a real boy? Don't tell me you can't relate," she said dryly.

"Well…of course I can. But there is no Blue Fairy to make that happen so I'm stuck as a puppet, happy?" he bit out with a wide gesture of his hands.

"You know as well as I do that that's far from true. And you know she doesn't think that either Daniel," Natalie said sadly.

"Well that ship sailed. I confronted her about it and she practically laughed in my face. There's your proof, so thanks for the encouragement," he whispered bitterly.

Natalie moved to sit next to him on the couch. "That wasn't exactly a conversation you started with her, Daniel, you blindsided the poor girl with an accusation instead of a confession so of course she's going to lie about an infatuation," Natalie scolded. "That girl loves you, so much so that she's put her career on the line for you in cases. She knows who you are, the real you, and she hasn't run from you yet. She saw your breakdown and she didn't flinch. She would have moved heaven and earth to be by your side that whole time if they'd allowed it Daniel. No one else is going to do that for you."

He stared at Natalie dimly, mulling over the words she spoke. He knew, deep down, that she was right.

"I…I don't want her to regret me," he said quietly. "This pedestal she has me on is high, Natalie, and what if I can't be that person she idolizes, that she thinks I am?"

Natalie tilted her head to the side, smiling softly. "You're her hero, Daniel. She sees you make the best of the cards you were dealt every day, and she's seen you fall from a great height and helped you back up there. She'd never regret you, it's not in her character."

"But how do you know that? How are you so sure?"

Her hand grasped his firmly. "Because she's your Blue Fairy Daniel."

He blinked, hard, and she was gone.

XOX

Kate huffed, dodging every attempt Donnie made to talk to her. She was more than pissed that he'd inferred she only used Daniel because she was madly in love with him. He was one of the most brilliant minds she'd ever met! He was an asset, and she'd been over the moon when he'd agreed to consult for her.

And Daniel, making insane assumptions like that was preposterous! Demanding to know if she had a crush on him like some schoolgirl. She was better than that, and so was he for that matter. She'd been dodging Daniel too though, and dodging Daniel was harder than avoiding Donnie. She could be mean and cold to Donnie; Daniel was an entirely different story.

She yelled at herself internally. She had to stop turning to mush around him; she had to stop fixing him, trying to get him out of his quiet shell, even out for dinner. She tried so hard to no avail and she was left with little other option but to date criminally boring second bests. No one challenged her like he did, puzzled her, pushed _her_ to the brink of insanity with his oft wild theories.

She smiled to herself. Sometimes she envied Daniel his hallucinations; it would be nice to have someone who couldn't judge you to talk too, she thought idly. He thought it was a horrible notion, that it made him weak and broken in her eyes, and when he'd had his breakdown she could see pity in his. The pity wasn't for himself though, but for her, and she never forgot that look.

Pity that she had to deal with him, pity that his condition hindered her job and made her life harder, pity that she was a laughingstock for working with Dr. Strange, as Probert called him.

She didn't pity herself though, and she'd give anything to explain that to him. It was everyone else she pitied. They didn't know him like she did, his likes and dislikes, his little oddities and his routine. They'd never heard the captivating way he spoke in his lectures, so passionately she'd have failed purposely just to listen again.

Kate sighed, flipping the case file she was supposed to be working on open before her. It was your run of the mill Jack Shot Jill Over Bill scenario, and she couldn't have found it more boring. In doing everything to avoid Daniel, she'd saddled herself with the boring cases, and it was draining her creativity.

Her phone buzzed, and it curiously read Lewicki. She flipped it open immediately; he rarely called her unless Daniel was in dire straits.

"What happened Max?" she demanded anxiously.

"Kate," Daniels voice came, sounding tinny over the line. "We should talk."

XOX

"That's just tricky, Daniel, and asking for trouble," Natalie scolded once more. "Using Lewicki as bait? Really?"

"Well she wasn't going to answer otherwise, and Lewicki leaves his phone lying around just waiting to be hacked anyways."

"Sure, but you basically trapped her into coming over. You keep going about this the wrong way. Why can't you just be honest with her?"

He glared at her. "Maybe because someone keeps giving me bad advice at crucial moments?"

"Fine, I'll leave then, and you can handle your problems all on your own Pinocchio," Natalie said contritely, vanishing from his vision before he could apologize for his cruel words.

Great, two women mad at him in the course of ten minutes. He was really winning today. He glanced at his watch; he'd have to make a quick dinner if he wanted to give Kate a reason to stay. She was always asking him out for a bite anyways, so it couldn't hurt to offer her food. For such a small woman, she could definitely eat.

"Probably has to do with jumping from three story walk ups onto criminals," he mumbled darkly, pondering the contents of the kitchen.

_Spaghetti it is_, he thought, pulling noodles, sauce, and parmesan out on the table.

"Here goes everything."

XOX

She felt flustered by his surprise attack. Flustered, but relieved. The awkwardness was too much for her to handle, and she needed him back.

As it was, she poured over the contents of her closest, utterly lost as to what to wear. Nothing seemed good enough, pretty enough, casual enough for this supposed dinner. It wasn't like he didn't see her practically every day, but this night felt special, somehow, and she wanted to look good for him.

It was nearing six when she finally settled on dark skinny jeans and a loose fitting, almost off the shoulder burgundy blouse she'd bought in a fit of stress shopping months ago. The long sleeves billowed slightly, and she couldn't help feeling truly pretty as she clipped gold hoops into her ears and added a few curls to her brunette locks.

Black heels and a brown leather jacket finished off her look as she grabbed her keys and headed for her car.

Maybe everything would be different this time.

A girl could hope, after all.

XOX

Daniel smoothed his unruly hair down as much as possible, tugging on the gray sweater over the navy blue shirt he picked out so carefully. At least he looked typical, normal, enough.

The spaghetti was set out on the table, along with French bread (he still couldn't bring himself to eat garlic after 25+ years), and a fresh arugula salad.

Now all he had to do was wait for Kate, and that was nerve wracking enough.

Of course, as in all things, he didn't have to wait long. Kate Moretti was anything if not punctual if the doorbell ringing was any indication.

"Why must she be so prompt?" he asked aloud. Natalie laughed behind him.

"Because she's trying to impress you, Daniel. Make sure you compliment her outfit, okay; she spent a long time trying to look nice for you so acknowledge it. Don't start off the conversation by asking if she has a crush on you, it makes her feel like a child. Just…be subtle, don't be overbearing, and don't push too hard."

"I think I can handle this, Natalie, thank you. But I guess the advice is necessary," Daniel said with defeat. "I'm sorry about earlier, okay?"

"Apology accepted. Go get your girl."

He nodded, making his way to the door nervously.

"Evening, Kate," he managed to say before losing all train of thought. She smiled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Are you going to let me in?" She asked, and he realized he'd been blocking her entry into his house.

"Oh, sure, yeah, that would be a good idea," he said stiffly, moving to let her pass. He cleared his throat as she shrugged her coat off, and he hurried to grab it for her. The full effect of her was mind altering, he thought, taking in her outfit as it hugged all the right curves.

She flushed, and once again he caught himself staring. "You look beautiful," he said quietly, almost wistfully. As if she was out of his reach. And maybe she was.

"Thank you," she answered with a shy nod. "So…dinner?"

"Right, hope you like spaghetti," he said brightly as he could.

"I'm Italian, of course I like spaghetti," Kate answered with a quirk of her lips and the raise of an eyebrow.

"Then right this way Signora," he gestured with a wave at the table.

Her eyes widened dramatically. "Did Daniel Pierce just make a joke?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I've been known to do that, it's not…totally uncommon."

"Sure, and pigs fly," she jibed good naturedly, taking a seat at the dinner table. "Looks delicious."

"Let's hope so, I made it, Lewicki's been gone for three days. Visiting family," he added, more for his benefit than hers.

She nodded, "His loss he left his phone behind then." Daniel grimaced, knowing she was clearly still irritated that he'd all but cried wolf by using Max's phone. They ate in awkward silence for a little while after that.

Picking at a piece of French bread, she'd had enough. Kate dropped her hands onto to the table a little more loudly than she'd intended, startling Daniel.

"Look, we both know I'm not here for dinner, or to play nice, so why don't you just tell me what you wanted me here for?" she asked sharply.

"I can't have a friend over for dinner?" he questioned just as briskly.

Kate snorted. "Friend, right. That's what I am," she whispered bitterly, jabbing at her untouched salad.

Daniel sighed, tensing. "If you have something to say, just say it."

"Oh, let's not play that game Daniel. You had plenty to say in Pennsylvania! Or maybe you're taking Donnie's advice and just avoiding everything important," she said angrily.

He cringed, realizing, for the first time, that she'd never been angry with him before. He couldn't help feeling defensive back. "Hey, don't compare me to your narcissistic ex-husband! It takes two to ruin a marriage!"

It was out before he could stop it, and he'd never regretted anything more in his life. Kate's eyes were wide as saucers, and she remained frozen at the table, color drained from her face. She gaped, and he could see her eyes glossing over with unshed tears.

The last thing he'd ever been to Kate Moretti was cruel.

He stood quickly, nearly knocking the chair out from under himself. "Kate, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I promise, I didn't mean it," he repeated softly, comfortingly.

She shook her head, brushing the back of her hand across her face. "No, you did," she whispered brokenly.

"This is what I meant," he began, and his gaze seemed far away, as if he were talking to Natalie. "This is what I was afraid of. I knew I would mess this up, I knew I'd be the fool. I knew you'd regret this at some point, and that day is here," he spoke manically, and Kate wondered if he was having another break. "This is why I didn't want to start this, and it's why I don't learn my students names, or socialize, or go on dates, because it always comes back and bites you in the ass. The one student's name I learn has me going mad because I don't know how to tell her how I feel!" he shouted dismally.

He ran a hand through his unkempt hair, pacing the length of the table, waiting for Kate to just leave.

His mind ran circles around him, all the voices blaming him for ruining them, ruining his one bright spot in the darkness. He'd forgotten she was even still there until he turned to pace once more and physically ran into her. She caught him gently, plying his protectively crossed arms apart and wrapping her own around his midsection.

It took him more than a moment to process the hug, and to respond to it in kind. When he snapped most people cleared the building, but like Natalie enjoyed reminding him, she wasn't most people.

"I didn't mean to be cruel, it just came out," he whispered in her hair. He felt her nod against his chest. That was progress at least. They stood that way for awhile, and he was sure she was gathering her bearings.

"You weren't wrong," she whispered back. "We both ruined it in the end. He cheated, and I was always more dedicated to my job and…" she trailed off, and he waited. She pulled back, remaining in his arms, but facing him. "And you," she finished lightly. "Even when I was in Washington, all I thought about was you, and I hoped you were doing well…if I'd known about Rexford all those years ago I never would have thought about leaving. It's not like I got demoted because I was bad at my job. I think I just…missed being with you, and somehow that rubbed off on the job."

"That wouldn't have been fair to you Kate. If I'd asked you to stay you would have, and you would have resented me for it at some point. You had to go, and I had to learn to live without you," he smiled grimly. "For all the good that did anyway."

"Why didn't you just tell me Daniel?" she asked dejectedly.

That was the proverbial million dollar question.

"If I had one answer I'd give it to you, but there were so many," he answered with a shrug. "You were my student, a bright one at that; what kind of message would it send the bureau for you to date a man who talks to walls and doors and imaginary beings? There's a sixteen-year age gap between us; I'm not young, and you're still young enough to find a stable man to marry and have a family that doesn't have a schizophrenic gene pool to worry about! You have me on a pedestal Kate, and I'm worried that what you see isn't what you'll get."

Kate laughed softly.

"Great, and once again, she's laughing at me."

"No, Daniel, it's just that you think I care so much about what other people think and I don't. The bureau can frankly bite me, for all intents and purposes. They have no business knowing about my dating habits. I've known you talk to walls since I met you, and I've seen it, at it's very worst, and I didn't go anywhere. That's becoming a poor excuse and you know it. You have a little faith in me by now I hope. Hell, sometimes I wish I had a hallucination to talk too; at least then someone would listen. And since when are you concerned with our age gap? It's not like I haven't had a thing for older guys my whole life. I've had the stable marriage, and clearly that worked out wonderfully for me in the end. And as for that pedestal, I'm sure you have one for me too?"

Okay, she had a point there.

"Maybe, it could be a little high," he replied with a small grin.

"See what I mean? This isn't a one-way street Daniel, it never has been. Like you said, you never learn your students names; out of all of them, why pick me?" she said it so softly he barely caught it.

He gaped for a moment then, searching for the reason. "I think I just knew, one day, you'd be important, sitting there in the front row, scrambling to take notes, and your papers were always fantastically researched," he rambled on until he felt fingertips pressed against his lips.

"It was always more than a crush, you know," Kate said with a smirk, removing her fingers.

His smile was tight, but his gaze was warm when he looked into her eyes. "I know."

"I love you," she whispered tremulously, fearing the response.

He ran one hand through her perfectly curled locks, settling on the nape of her neck. "I know," he grinned, pulling her up towards him. "I love you too, Kate."

This time her wide eyes were filled with a different kind of tear, and the apologies were behind them. The kiss was soft and searching, shy and knowing, and he knew in that moment that this was no hallucination, that if he died tomorrow he would be a happy man, and if he never saw Natalie again, he would be just fine.

As it was, he felt the prickling sensation of being watched, and noticed Natalie lingering in the corner, smiling. She mouthed, "I told you so" gently. She was a lovely figment, and with a wink, he realized the figment faded slowly from his vision. He didn't need her anymore.

If he was Pinocchio, and Natalie was Jiminy Cricket, then Kate Moretti was his Blue Fairy after all. She made him a real person, whole, complete, and happy.

The kiss broke slowly, and he stroked her cheek where the tears fell. "Did you want dessert?" he asked lightly. She laughed, and it was watery.

"I think I've got all the dessert I need," she responded with a sly grin.

"Good, because I didn't make dessert."

XOX

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I, didn't know I was lost_


End file.
